How'd You Die?
by Dreaming Maya
Summary: Jacob gets a bit desperate to avoid homework.  Don't we all ...  Slash Yaoi Jakeward JacobXEdward oneshot. More chapters to come.
1. Chapter 1

I just thought - hey, why are you letting this collect dust! Quick! Post it so people think you do productive things with your time!

Hah, just kidding. I don't do productive things with my time.

Also - the person who was too sleepy to log in reminded me to tell you all that I would never own Twilight - even if I wanted to (How's that for a disclaimer? I don't see the point in it though, this IS a fanfiction site. You're not supposed to own anything anyway).

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><p>Jacob glanced up from his schoolwork to look at his boyfriend. Edward was reading a history book, though he looked at Jacob when his thoughts began to centre on him.<p>

"Do you need help?" Edward asked, referring to the other boy's work. Jacob made a face, and shook his head, standing and beginning to stretch. Edward watched his shirt ride up, and expose his hip tattoo of _For the pack_. It was much more interesting than his book.

"I wanna take a break." Jacob explained, and walked over to Edward, scooping up the amused boy, sitting in his chair, and depositing his boyfriend on top of him. "What was it like to have the Spanish Flu?" Jacob asked suddenly, only giving Edward enough time to drop his book and reposition himself a bit more comfortably on his lap.

Edward pauses, and then coughs into his hand, as though the mention of it brings a scratchy throat. "Pretty bad. Doctors didn't know how to cure it, and everyone was in a panic about it. I bled from my ears, once, too. It was like a normal flu, everything ached so badly … I had a bad fever too. I felt like the world was ice-cold and my body was infected with the fire from Hell." Edward explained, and quickly soothed Jacob's disgruntled look. "The Hell of your choice, Jake. Not just Christian." He assured him, amused that his boyfriend was more sensitive about religion then he was about how Edward suffered in his last human moments.

"So you died from a real bad flu from Spain because your immune system was that weak?" Jacob asked, genuinely curious, and Edward sniffs in indignation on his immune system's behalf.

"Actually it was because my immune system was so strong that I died." Edward argued, which only confused Jacob more, which Edward realised in hind sight.

"That not how a flu works." Jacob pointed out. Edward sighs.

"Not in most cases, no. But I had contracted pneumonia, and my body quickly panicked and gave me _an over-dose _from my immune system." Edward explains. Jacob frowns.

"Oh." He replies. Edward allows him to mull it over, watching his 'thinking face' and trying not to kiss him. Jacob's 'wait a mo' I'm figuring this shit out m'kay?' look was adorable. Then, Edward chuckles as Jacob tosses aside his failed attempt at understanding, and looked at Edward with extreme concern. "Did it hurt?" He asks, and Edward wraps his arms around his over-grown puppy and kisses his nose.

"It's over now." Edward says, and gets a firm kiss on the mouth. Jacob pulls back, frowning.

"That's not what I asked." He says, and Edward relents.

"I know. … It was very painful. My lungs filled with liquid. I drowned, Jake, that's how I died." Edward said softly. Jacob holds the vampire tighter.

"I can swim." Jacob says suddenly, looking very proud. Edward, confused, assures him that he knew that, and makes Jacob nod. "I know how to swim. If you start drowning again I'll save you. Promise." Jacob adds, looking very fierce very quickly. "So don't worry about hurting again, okay?" He asks, smiling. Edward smiles back.

"I won't, love, thank you."

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><p>Yeah, I only looked up the Spanish flu once. My attention span is awful.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Here's another one.

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><p><em>Beep beep beep beep<em>

Edward groaned as he heard his pager, opening his eyes blearily, knowing the usual wake-up call from his father: _You have 20 minutes please_. Even if his eyes were too unfocused to see it at the moment.

He gave a tiny smile when he saw his groggy boyfriend grab the beeping contraption and stuff it under his pillow, muffling but not entirely blocking the sound.

"Come on, sweet-ass, I saw that; give it back." Edward mutters, breaking away from their sleep-spooning by turning to face the man. Edward chuckles as his boyfriend frowns, eyes squeezed shut.

"I dunno what you're talkin' 'bout; go back to bed, babe." Jacob replies in a groan, voice breathy with sleep. Edward sighs and props himself up on one elbow, hand open and outstretched for his pager.

They wait for a moment; seeing who will break first. Unsurprisingly, five seconds later it's Jacob who slides his hand out from under his pillow and hands his boyfriend his pager. Edward smiles and drops a kiss on the black long hair.

"I love you." He says, getting out of bed and shuffling quickly around his drawers for something to wear. There's a grunt from the bed, which Edward takes as an 'I love you too' as he walks quickly to the adjoining bathroom and into the shower. After a quick, hot wash, he jumps out and dresses, rubbing his hair dry and raking a comb through it.

Barely pausing, he strides out of the rooms and, grabbing his shoulder bag from the ready end table at the door, grabs the door knob and manages to open the door approximately three centimetres before it's slammed shut again by a large calloused tan hand. Edward rolled his eyes, trying to keep his patience with his adorably adorable and right now half-awake boyfriend.

"Jake, come on, I have to go; the hospital is always short staffed and I don't want lives lost while I try and get out the door of my own home." Edward chided, glancing up to see his boyfriend pouting.

"Well _I_ just wanted a kiss …." He sulked, and Edward chuckled as a large warm hand cupped his chin, upturning his face, and soft lips pressed against his own.

"Mm …." He pulled away, smiling at the others unhappy expression. "Come on, let me out, I have to go now." He tapped his boyfriend's face with his finger and found his hands then encased in the other's. He watches as Jacob rubs his fingers between his warm palms.

"You always have such cold hands!" His boyfriend shivers. Edward chuckles, trying to take his hands back unsuccessfully.

"Well; I come from a family of doctors; cold hands are in our blood." He puns, then snatches his hands back at last. "I have to go; you go back to bed." He says firmly, opening the door and walking out. He smiles as he doesn't hear the door close behind him; knowing he'd be out of the building, in his car and half-way down the street until it did.

"I love you, babe!" He ducks his head and blushes deep red as the strong voice rang out in the hall, he threw a 'shush!' over his shoulder before he took the stairs.

–

Jacob smiled as he closed the door. His babe was out saving lives; he was so proud. _An extremely cute doctor, a fox in the sack, absolutely charming … I caught a better haul then Becky or Ritchie did. _Jacob laughed to himself as the thought entered his mind. Then he half-heartedly gave a passing glance at the clock. Then whipped his head around to stare at it.

"Two a-m!" He yelled, looking at the thing in disbelief. Then he sighed and run a hand through his hair. "Eddie's the only thing that can get me up this early, I swear …."

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><p>I made them human because reasons. Also that cold hands thing? Get it? Because usually Doctors apologise if they're hands are cold if they need to, say, press your back or poke your stomach?<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

So this is a fic, I wrote it ages ago, and here you are. I called it 'Shutterbug' though I don't know why. I don't know if they're dating or not in this, but it's something. Something.

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><p><em>Edward fucking-amazingly-depressing Cullen was doing what he did best. Emo-ing in a corner. Why, you ask? Wait-you didn't? Too bad, I'm answering anyway, he is being emo because his bestest bestest buddy in the whole entire world was hanging out with a <em>girl_, Heaven forbid, instead of him-_

"Emmett; did you care one ounce about your balls; you'll shut up." Edward growled, glaring at his largest yet youngest brother for thinking so loudly. Emmett beamed in response.

"Aww! Yet I didn't say _anything_! Do you miss your doggy that much? I know! I'll get you a new one!" Emmett cooed, teasing the brooding one. Jasper sighed.

"… Stop baiting him Emmett …." The war veteran suggested, but of course, no one listens to him.

"I don't _want_ a new one!" Edward raged, then froze at his own outburst. Jasper stares. Emmett does too, but he starts to grin as well.

"Hah! You want that wolf so bad!" Emmett laughed. Jasper quickly smacked him upside the head to stop him from a jibe at Edward.

"… So?" His brothers both looked up at him in surprise. Edward had wrapped his arms around himself, ducking his head and looking out the window. "Does that bother you?" He asked quietly. Jasper walked up to him, putting a firm hand on his brothers shoulder.

"No, I've heard far worse in my time. It's don't ask, don't tell, as far as I'm concerned." Jasper assured him, smiling calmly. Edward smiled back faintly, not making eye-contact. Emmett frowned, scratching his head. _I didn't mean it like that … I don't care too!_ Edward chuckled.

"It's either, Em." Edward corrected his brother. Emmett beamed.

"Right, I knew that!" The largest one lied easily.

"No you didn't." Jasper sneered. Emmett shrugged.

"Humour me?" Emmett suggested. Jasper and Emmett continued talking; but Edward had taken to looking out the window again, waiting for Jacob's motorbike.

–

"Are you _sure_ you can't stay longer, Jake?" Isabella Swan asked, looking upset at the prospect of her best guy friend leaving. Jacob laughed, giving her a hug.

"I'm sorry; I promised Ed I'd hang at his tonight." Jacob explained, Bella sighed.

"I understand. But I _would_ like to meet Ed soon; y'know thank him for looking after you." She giggled. Jake rolled his eyes.

"I'll bring him over one day, _mother_, and get your seal of approval. Now I've gotta go, see ya." Jacob waved, and hopped on his bike, straddling it firmly before looking back to the front door of the Swan house, giving one last wave to the girl standing there, and zooming off. He memorised the route easily, turn by turn, until finally through the trees and braking in front of the Cullen house. Jacob was hopping off his bike and slinging his helmet on the handlebars when a familiar hand came and rested firmly on his shoulder.

"I was doubting you'd come, Jake." Edward said, smiling when Jacob spun around and ducked down to hug his friend, tanned arms wrapping around the other's midriff.

"Of course I came!" Jacob laughed happily. "I wouldn't miss a moment in your presence!" He beamed. Edward chuckled.

"The same for me, Jake."

–

"Whoa! Look who's here!" Emmett yelled, slapping Jake a hi-five. Jacob grinned.

"That's right man; bask in my awesomeness." He said, pointing to himself. Jasper gave him a friendly smile and a wave; which Jacob returned, before being pulled away by Edward, going up to his room. Jacob laughed as he kicked off his shoes, and flopped on the bed. Edward climbed in after him.

"What have you been up to, anyway, man?" Jacob asked, easily making himself at home and looking at his best friend, who was lounging on the headboard next to him; looking for all the world like some sort of air-brushed model. Jacob for one didn't envy him; models starved, even while getting paid the big bucks. Edward shrugged.

"It's been sunny; Emmett and I went hunting for bears, it was a bit early, they were still hibernating; Emmett got childish and threw rocks at them-"

"It was completely warranted! I swear!" Emmett yelled up the stairs. Jacob laughed, though he didn't like the idea of waking bears, and Edward rolled his eyes.

"So he says. Then Alice wanted new clothes; Jasper had conveniently gone with Esme to hunt; meaning I went with her." Edward paused to shudder, and Jacob joined him.

"So you've done absolutely nothing and was dying of boredom, waiting for your knight-in-shining-armour; and here he is," Jacob declared, waving a hand over himself. Edward laughed, shaking his head and not actually denying the statement.

"Yes he has! He's so gay for you it's not funny!" Emmett yelled, and Jacob burst out laughing, while Edward jumped up and ran out of the room in hopes of decapitating his brother.

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><p>Hope you liked that one. There's at least four more oneshot things to come.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

Hi, it's me again, just posting more stories I keep leaving around. So, this is what I made up, about how Jacob told everyone his sexual orientation and no-one cared.

The summary: Jacob was going to tell everyone. Right now. Or maybe after the game. Yeah.

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><p>Jacob tried to hold down his bobbing knee. <em>This is stupid; I should just tell them; they'll keep buggering me to find a girl if I don't.<em> Jacob bit his bottom lip, barely able to smile as everyone roared as the team scored again. He glanced around; everyone was here. Everyone he deemed family. His precious pack was here, along with their families and loved ones …. _I mean; they're my family, they'll love me no mater what. … Maybe I should wait until the team wins; that'll put them in a good mood … yeah I'll wait; just until then though, because I'm going to tell them. I will tell them._ Jacob ran a hand through his hair a blew out a sigh. He looked up sharply when he felt a touch on his knee.

"You 'kay, Jake?" It was Seth, looking concerned. Jacob grinned; he wasn't surprised Seth was the first one to notice his strange behaviour; they had always been close. It's why Seth already knew what he planned to tell everyone tonight.

"I'm all good Seth, don't worry about me." He said, pulling the eleven-year-old onto his lap. "I think I'll tell everyone today; lil' bro." He said quietly, and Seth looked understandably shocked.

"What? Really? But I-" Jacob laughed softly; cutting him off. He was amused at how nervous Seth looked. He seemed as nervous as Jacob and he wasn't about to tell everyone what Jacob was going to tell them! Jacob dropped a kiss onto the younger boy's head, getting an indignant 'hey!' in response.

"Yeah, I'm sure, Sethy," Jacob teased, grinning as the old nick-name got a glare from Seth. "It's all good."

"Wait – you don't get it –" Seth said, puffing out his cheeks. Jacob laughed, ruffling his hair.

"I do get it, Seth. I'll tell them, and that's it."

"But-"

"Not now, Seth."

–

_Shit. Game's almost over. I can't wait anymore; I have to tell them!_ With that frantic thought, Jacob jumped up, Seth falling from his lap.

"Sorry Seth! I'm telling them!" Jacob declared, then ran in front of the T.V. He waited, for dramatic effect.

"GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE FUCKING T.V JACOB!" Paul roared, face red.

"HURRY UP, WE CAN'T SEE!" Jared added loudly.

"IT'S A TIE, MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS!" Embry snapped. Jacob did not take that well.

"OH-MY-GOD-EVERYONE-JUST-SHUT-UP-I-HAVE-TO-TELL-YOU-SOMETHING!" He screeched.

"Jacob Black! I taught you better then to scream!" Billy barked sternly from his chair.

"Sorry, Dad, but I need to tell you something!" He blurted out.

"Well spit it out, son! This is the best part of the game!" Henry Clearwater yells. He nods, bouncing from one foot to the other now he knew he was being rushed.

"Okay, okay, okay! Well; I was contemplating life and I realised that-" He starts, but was cut off by his so-called _family_.

"Jacob! Can't this wait!" Quil demands. Jacob kicked him, since he was in kicking distance. "Ow! Fucking bitch!" They left Quil to curse.

"Alright! I'm a bloody homosexual!" Jacob said, "I'm gay, okay!" He yelled. There was stunned silence … before;

"GET OUT OF THE WAY OF THE FUCKING T.V JACOB!"

"HURRY UP, WE CAN'T SEE!"

"IT'S A TIE, MOVE YOUR DUMB ASS!"

Jacob snapped again.

"I JUST SPILLED MY HEART TO YOU UNGRATFUL PEOPLE! I HATE YOU ALL!" He yelled, turning and storming off. He didn't stop until he'd walked out of the house and crossed the street. Sitting on the park bench, he sniffed in a vain attempt to keep tears from falling.

"Jake …." He looked up to see everyone outside standing in front of him. He pouted.

"Leave me alone …." He sulked, ignoring Seth as he sat beside him, and his father as he rolled up next to the seat.

"Jacob; everyone already knew you were gay," Sam said slowly, some others nodding. "we have no problem and two weeks to get used to it." Jacob blinked.

"… Wait; what?" He asked, not noticing Seth starting to slide away. Paul snorted, getting his attention.

"Seth already told us, dude." He explained, then turned away, "so you didn't have to block the fucking T.V," he grumbled, getting elbowed hard in the ribs.

Jacob calmly turned to Seth, who was looking away nervously.

"I … I tried to tell you! But you didn't listen to me!" The child said, his voice sounding pleading. Jacob put a hand on his shoulder firmly.

"Seth … because of you …." He said darkly, making everyone shiver, "WE'RE MISSING THE GAME!" He yelled, grabbing the boy, throwing him over his shoulder, and sprinting to the house, Seth screaming in protest at being lugged around like a back-pack.

"Put me down!" Seth pleaded.

"No! It was a tie!" Jacob yelled back, looking over his shoulder. "HURRY UP, YOU LOSERS!WE'RE MISSING THE GAME!" He threw over his shoulder, satisfied at the pounding footsteps he heard as he ducked through the front door.

"Freaking hell Jacob! Just ignore the fact you completely humiliated yourself!"

"Shut up Paul! I hate you!"

"Whatever, Jake! Paul's right; you're a freaking drama queen!"

"_Flaming_ drama queen!"

"Next you'll be playing with sparkles!"

"That's it! All of you shut up! I still hate each and every one of you."

–

Edward blinked as he looked at Jacob and his own joined hands.

"Okay … I'm about to marry you; in half an hour, actually, and the reason you didn't tell me your 'coming out of the closet moment' … was because the person you told first told everyone else before you … and you had no idea?" He asked slowly. Jacob nodded.

"Yep; I figured it was too embarrassing and you'd break up with me because it _was_ sort of pathetic." He said. Edward chuckled, lifting their hands and kissing the tanned ones.

"Nothing will stop this wedding from happening, Jacob." Edward said softly, his voice full of love, "come hell and high water, our last names will be joined. I _will_ be Edward Anthony Mason Cullen-Black." He whispered. Jacob smiled tenderly. Then that smile turned into a grin.

"Not even a flying purple ninja elephant from Denmark?"

"… Okay; maybe that."

"Why is your name so long anyway?"

"You've just ruined the moment."

"I thought I did."

The end (but really; the elephant could just be a guest.)

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><p>I don't know where the elephant came from, in all honesty. Also - thanks for reviewing before, on the last chapters, it's nice of you!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Back when I was _just _growing out of my tween years, I had this bad joke that no-one liked (not because they liked Twilight, just because it was a really bad joke) about how all the good guys are gay or taken, and Edward wasn't taken. So ... yeah. Shame that it's only recently I realised how bloody shameful that memory is._  
><em>

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><p>Bella looked up from her book when the teacher asked for attention. She notices the new boy, standing comfortably enough at the front of the class, and stares. The boy's black hair was tied-back, some of it sliding out of the ponytail messily, and there were band-aids on his hands and what seemed to be part of his neck. His skin was a dark natural shade of brown, and he was extremely tall and seemed lankly awkward, with a large shirt and long cargo pants had hid his figure. He looked cheerful though, smiling slightly at the class and looking around curiously.<p>

"Now, tell us your name, where you come from, and … one interesting thing about you." Bella almost laughed as she heard the class groan, Miss Fred was always doing that to the new comers, and everyone got sick of it. The boy smiles though, and nods good-naturedly.

"Okay … um, Name's Jacob Ephriam Black, I come from La Push, a reservation near Forks, which is a small place," Bella pauses, that name rang a few twenty bells in her head …. "and I … love wolves, and cars. A lot." He shrugged, smile slightly faded as he looked helpless. "That's about it." He says, and Miss Fred ushers him to a seat, and the class resumes. Bella turns back to her book.

Bella watched the boy look around for a spot to sit at lunch. She felt bad when she noticed only the most hated people had empty seats available. Besides her personal brand of loner table.

"Um, hey!" She yelled, waving her hand shyly. Jacob looked over, eyebrows raised innocently. "You can sit here!" She offered, and felt a fluttery sensation in her chest when he smiled at her.

His straight teeth were bright white against his skin, and his smile was so large his eyes closed. Before Bella realised, he was sitting himself down next to her.

"Thanks!" He said, "I was gonna head outside if you didn't offer ya table!" He said, and Bella realised his accent sounded … implacable. It was an understatement to say she was curious.

"Um, it's no problem, I don't usually sit with anyone …." It took Bella a moment to realise what she'd just said, and when she did, she clapped her hands over her mouth. "It's not like that, actually! I mean, I'm not really freaky or anything!" She said quickly, waving her hands, but the boy smiled knowingly, tucking his hair back into his ponytail.

"It's cool, I know a bit about being the odd one out …." He assured her, and Bella smiled slightly, making Jacob beam boyishly. "Wah! You're really cute when you smile!" He said, and Bella blushed at his bluntness. "Even cuter!" He crowed, and it took Bella a long while to get that he was teasing her!

"Oh stop!" She scolded, but the smile staying on her face, and when Jacob broke down into laughter, she found herself hard pressed to stop her own from bubbling up.

They laughed heartily for a few moments, but soon it petered off, almost leaving the post-laughing awkwardness, had Bella not remembered her question.

"I meant to ask you – what's your heritage?" She asked, and Jacob blinked.

"Imma Red Bastard." (**A.N**: this is based on how my Dad introduces himself = "a dumb black bastard" he doesn't mean it though, and neither does Jake, don't worry.) He said bluntly, and Bella started at his words, and he gave her a small smile, watching her closely. "Sorry. I shouldn't say stuff like that around a girl, I'm Native, but why ask? Couldn't you tell from my dashing square hairless face?" he asked jokingly, and she shook her head, smiling again.

"You have a different accent then I expected." She explained gently, and Jacob shrugged, and though his expression didn't change, Bella felt she'd somehow insulted him, if only a little bit.

"We don't usually have accents. But I've been travelling for a while, so I must of started sounding foreign." He explained, and Bella nodded, more interested than ever.

"Travelling? Where have you been?"

"Oh, I've been to Japan for a half a year, and in Indonesia for the other half, a spent a month in the east coast of Australia, then I went to Greece for … a think it was five months, almost half a year, and my last stop was Mexico, for eight weeks." Jacob explained, and Bella's jaw almost dropped in awe.

"Wow! All there? Which was your favourite place?" She asked, leaning forward. Jacob smiled again, and even though he didn't show his teeth, Bella still blushed.

"Home. No matter what, I'm a small-town boy." Jacob said confidently, shrugging in his baggy shirt. "Besides – I was a bit … occupied, most of the time." Bella wrinkled her nose in confusion.

"Occupied? By what?" She asked, and Jacob laughed, making Bella notice he was blushing under his dark skin.

"By my Honey!" He said cheerfully, but Bella still noticed he looked embarrassed, but he was smiling. "Always wanted to go at it!" He continued, and Bella blushed up to her ears when she realised what Jacob meant.

"Oh! So you're … in a relationship?" She asked, devastated for a more known reason. But Jacob nodded anyway, oblivious to Bella's turmoil and more pleased at her words.

"I am! My Honey takes up most of my time though, always wants attention. But that's okay, I like giving my Honey attention." Jacob assured her, grinning and still looking embarrassed. Bella forced a light laugh, and they both turned back to their food.

The next day, Bella waited at the gates of her high school, hoping at catch a glimpse of Jake so she could hang with him before classes started. She was a bit excited, since it had been awhile since she had someone to sit with, and it turned out her father, who she hadn't seen since she was much younger, was actually good friends with Jacob's own Dad.

"Hey, Bells!" Bella turned when she heard Jacob's cheery voice, and spotted him … then she stared.

It … it might have been Jacob. The man walking up to her was _buff_, with rippling muscles encased in a tight black shirt and jeans, with his long hair out, fanning out as he walked, and the bandaids were off, showing tattoos with colourful designs.

Then he smiled, and the sheer happiness of the expression had Bella stop her fretting - it was Jacob.

"Jacob!" She called when he got close, and then gestured to him. "You look great!" She exclaimed, and then paused. "Not that he didn't look great before! It's just … sorry …." She muttered, but Jacob laughed it off easily.

"I know, I know, yesterday I was worried about your school policies … but if they point out my tats, I'm calling them racist." Jacob said boldly, making Bella laugh.

"That's so cool!" She agreed, and they walked through the front gates. Bella had to keep her eyes on her shoes to avoid everyone she realised that were staring at them.

In a week, Jacob had become extremely popular, he had a personality that shined like the sun, and his positive disposition soon had even Bella raising in the ranks.

"Hey Bells! Me and Katy are gonna go hang at the shops after this, you coming?" Georgia asked after school, her blonde hair bouncing behind her. Bella smiled and nodded, making the other girl grin. "Great! Jacob said he was too busy to come, so it'll just be us girls." She added, before disappearing into the crowd of students. Bella got to her locker and put away her books, and only got so far as closing it again when someone barrelled into her.

"Bella!" Katy squealed, and straightened up, pulling Bella up with her. "You coming to the shops later?" She asked, and squealed again at the nod Bella gave her. "Awesome! Now listen - there is this _gorgeous_ guy outside the school! You _have_ to see him! Do you think he's some lucky bitches _boyfriend_? Because that would _suck_, he is _major_ eye-candy!" She chattered, pulling Bella through the school to the front gates.

Suddenly, Katy stopped, and pointing dramatically.

"_There_!" She exclaimed, and Bella, amused, followed her finger, towards … the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He was leaning against a tree, outside of the school, donned in black dress pants and shoes, and a button up baby blue shirt, comfortably in the shade, which showed off his extremely pale skin. He seemed to be looking at them, but he had black sunglasses on, so it was more likely he was watching the school, waiting for someone. The girls stood there, ogling shamelessly for a bit, before Jacob walked up, grinning at them.

"Hey, Kate, mind if I pinch Bells for a second?" He asked, and Katy jumped, having not noticed he was there, but quickly recovered, giggled and nodded, and pushed Bella towards him.

"Yeah, sure, hottie!" She giggled again at the wink Jacob sent her.

Bella waited as she was lead to a less-populated area of the front of the school, before whacking Jacob on the arm.

"Jake! Your Honey won't be happy that you're flirting with Katy!" She hissed, as she had adapted to calling Jacob's sweetheart the same name Jacob called them. Jake shrugged.

"My Honey knows I only have eyes for those pretty green ones …." Jacob trailed off, and Bella swore his eyes glazed over, before she whacked his arm again.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked, and Jacob blinked, then smiled smally.

"I didn't want to tell you sooner, because I didn't want to upset you, but … I'm leaving after this. Today was my last day here." He explained, and Bella's mouth dropped open.

"What!" She exclaimed, and grabbed Jacob's large shoulders. "Wh-why? H-how!" She stuttered, and Jacob laughed, pulling her hands off his shoulders and holding them between his own.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going home now." He said gently, smiling. "My Honey's come to pick me up though! And I want you to finally meet him!" With that, Bella was excited pulled towards the front gates, "I've told him all about you!" And then it hit her. Jacob had said _him_. Jacob's Honey, his sweetheart … was a _guy_. Bella stumbled along in her shock, but Jacob didn't seem to notice as he stood in front of her, talking at her about something, and waving his arms around. _A guy …? Is Jacob bi? Maybe … _homosexual_!_ Bella thought, more dazed then actually curious. Jacob was still talking to her, unaware of her hazed thoughts, and she noticed something out of the corner of her eye. The Adonis was walking _closer_, he was heading straight _at them_. Bella felt like gaping, like waving her arms and somehow alerting Jacob. But _why_? Jacob had a _boyfriend_!

Then something happened that almost had Bella fainting, she felt light-headed, at the least.

The Adonis walked up to right behind Jacob, and gave a _stunning_ crocked smile, before he _slipped his arms around him_. Bella's eyes widened as Jacob's did, then he turned around, and Bella's jaw _dropped_, as two of the most beautiful guys she had ever met _kissed_.

When the two broke apart, Jacob beamed.

"Honey! Baby, I missed you so much!" The Native cooed, slipping an arm around the pale man, as he was a few inches shorter than him, who smiled and leant his head slightly on Jacob's shoulder. "This is Bella! She's Charlie's daughter!" He introduced her cheerfully, and his Honey offered a hand.

"Hello Bella, Jake's talked my ear off about you. I'm Edward Cullen." He said, smiling crookedly, and Jacob laughed, rubbing the back of his head in an embarrassed way. Bella numbly shook his hand, which was rather cold in such warm weather, and smiled faintly.

"Yeah, Jacob's mentioned you so much," She said, and watched as Edward turned to Jacob, raising an eyebrow, as Jacob blinked innocently.

"What? I can't help it! I love you so much and you're really interesting to talk about!" The boy argued, and Edward laughed, pushing the other slightly.

"Jake, I might be interesting to talk about to _you_, but to _everyone else_ I doubt I'm so _captivating_." The man said, before turning to Bella, and looking apologetic. "I'm so sorry our first meeting is so short, but Jakey and I have a plane to catch soon, and it's best we get there early so as not to get there late." Edward chuckled. "It's impossible for Jacob to actually be _on time_." He added, and Jacob pouted.

"Boo! No fair! It's not my fault time hates me!" He sulked, but then brightened considerably, and pulling Bella into a tight hug. "Bye Bells! Thank you so much for spending time with me all over again! First it was mud pies, now it's high school - hey! Let's go drinking next!" He winked cheekily, and Edward chuckled with him.

"That's enough - we should let the poor girl go; I'm sure she has plans." He said, and, with a polite wave and another loud good-bye from Jacob, the two left, leaving Bella standing there, stunned.

"It's true …" She breathed, "they're either gay or taken …."

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><p>Sorry if I offended someone with the Red joke. ... I'm brown, if you'd like to throw an insult my way (Poop's been done, though). ANYWAY - thanks for the reviews and sorry for the absence! I don't really <em>get<em> responsibility, very foreign to me.


	6. Chapter 6

So I left this place and started watching Teen Wolf ... also, AO3 is an amazing place. And tumblr. Sorry about that! Anyway, here is a oneshot in which Bella is just a bit bitter, but I assume it's always hard to get over relationships and such ... I'm sure I would know if I had one.

I GAVE THEM A CHILD, HEAD'S UP.

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><p>Darien smiles at Bella, who shifts uncomfortably. She expected a spoilt rich brat, someone that reflected Jacob's relaxed nature and therefore Bella's assumption at his parenting skills and Edward's money.<p>

What she got was a cheerful boy, with a developed vocabulary, and a good sense of humour. He wore a nice shirt, button up, and a green and complimented his beautiful eyes, though that was slightly at odds with his dirty, ragged jeans.

When she entered the room, the boy had been surprised at the unexpected visitor, but never-the-less invited her to join him in his video game, and offered her a drink, both of which she declined.

"Y'know ... Pa said you were pale, but you really are!" The boy says suddenly, and Bella blinks, slightly taken aback by his blunt wording. Darien seems to realise this, and quickly smiles. "No! I don't mean it in a bad way! It's not up to me to tell you how to look." He adds, giving her a grin that Bella remembered seeing clearly on Jacob when he got bashful. Bella gives him a weak smile, nearly over-come by the memory of her old friend.

"Thank you, that's very sweet." She says, and watches as Darien's grin switches to an even more familiar crooked smile.

"Everyone says that to me!" He says cheerfully, and almost sounds proud. "Y'know, my Pa commented once that you're not a nice person. He says that you attempted to injure my Dad. But I think he was lying, pretty girls might get away with a lot of things, but that's only because they don't do terrible things. That's what my Dad says, and he thinks heaps of people are pretty. If you're cool to him, you're pretty." Darien explains, absentmindedly scratching his tan arm as he glances at the T.V screen, waiting for his game to finish loading.

Bella's smile fizzles out.

"Um, Darien? Who taught you how to talk? I'm just curious." Bella says, and Darien puffs out his chest.

"My Dad. He taught me how to talk, but my Pa showed me how to speak." Darien had abandoned his game then, turning to face her properly, "But when I learned to walk, that was by my Pa, though Dad taught me how to step. And Dad taught me how to recognise words, but my Pa taught me how to read. Though my Pa taught me how to write, my Dad showed me how to tell stories..." Darien then became distracted by his game, which he continued to play.

Bella was assaulted with unbidden images. This little boy, bright and quick, being taught and loved by the two of them... Bella watched him for a while, before Jacob walked in, smiling.

"Hi, Bells, sorry about not coming sooner." Jacob says, looking sheepish, but Bella waves him away as Jacob walks over to his son, leaning down to ruffle his hair. "Hey, little man, your Pa brought home a pressie for you, were you being good for Sis Bella?" Jacob says, and Darien calls a quick affirmative over his shoulder as he runs to find his other parent and his gift.

Jacob takes a seat on the arm of the couch, and smiles at Bella.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on him." Jacob says, and Bella smiles, getting up.

"It was no trouble, I offered. And… I learnt some things. It was nice, surprising." Bella says, then points to the doorway of the room. "I should, um, go." She says, and Jacob stands to, smiling and holding out his arms. Bella quickly stepped into his hug, and pulled back, still trying to smile.

"Yeah, okay, it was great to see you again." Jacob says softly, and he looked almost sad. "Find some time for your best friend, okay?" He asks, the twinkle in his eye making Bella relieved.

"Okay, I'll try, but kids and work, you know …." Bella makes a juggling motion, before giving a final goodbye and hurrying out of the room. She made to the front door until Edward caught her.

"Try and make room for him, won't you? I know Jacob misses you horridly." Edward says, and gives a smile that's so perfect Bella's chest aches. "He likes more people here. Says this place has no soul." Edward continued, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed casually. Bella glances around at the large, impressive house.

"Yeah…" Bella says, trying not to sound weak. "I'll bet. Sounds like him." She adds, and Edward laughs, softly, almost politely, and nods.

"Mm." He walks up to her then, at a comfortable distance. "But, you know, I couldn't even imagine sharing this with anyone else. Not my life, home, or heart. Just Jacob." Edward gets an almost dreamy look on his face that has Bella's chest aching all over again. But he quickly look back at her with a smile. "And 'Rien, of course." He adds, and Bella laughs.

"Of course." She says, then makes an awkward hand gesture to the door, which Edward nods at with understanding, and she bolts out the door, not looking back once.

Though, quietly, she thinks; _You could have shared it with me._

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><p>Also - BAM! I gave them a kid. I don't know how - maybe they asked one of his sister's for an egg and he was a test-tube baby. I'm actually still confused about the whole Edward being a living breathing statue and having sperm... that's just weird.<p> 


End file.
